Thursday, April 7, 2016

What is FAMILY?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eBpYgpF1bqQ

Family. Familia. Famiglia. Famille. Ohana. Famillien. Mishpachen. Rosina. Obitelj.


Many ways to say it. Yet what is "family"? Miriam-Webster dictionary simply defines it as "a group of people related to each other. A person's children. A group of related people including people who lived in the past." http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family.

However, it's not that simple, and Websters agrees with me since its full definition is much longer.

Family is your spouse/significant other and/or your children (by birth or choice). It's your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins past & present. Traditionally it's related by blood or adoption. Drive by almost any park during the summer and you're bound to see at least one family reunion if not more. Some of those taking up a whole park. Laughing, sharing memories, making new ones, maybe meeting family members for the first time.

I grew up in a large family with my parents, many siblings. While living at home we shared everything: rooms, secrets, chores, fights, sometimes clothes, the occasional cigarillo, the frequent beer, advice, many tears, more food & celebrations. We were our worst enemies but our fiercest defenders. 

The family also includes various nieces & nephews, aunts, uncles, too many cousins to count. Our family reunions are never quiet events that fit nicely into one room. Many people, all mostly talking, laughing, eating & getting to know one another and learning about our relatives no longer with us. 

When I got married my husband & I formed our own little family which consists of his son & my daughter. Yet along with our small central family we each inherited the other's families. More parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins.  I got 3 more brothers & their wives and kids. My husband gained a family with sister, something he'd never had before. Some day our children will add even more members to it we hope.


Family may also be a "chosen family". My daughter calls them a "framily". I feel so blessed to have that in my life. Several of my girlfriends & I consider each other sisters. We laugh together & have cried with each other. We take fun- filled road trips with & without our husbands.  Our family also includes co-workers, past & present such as one who is almost a younger brother at times and the one whose death affected me as hard as losing my sister. 

Last Thanksgiving found two other couples, along with my husband, daughter & I around our table sharing the holiday together - like a true family. Two of us, Heather & I,  lost our fathers within a couple years of  each other so we share that bond. Another has had some health problems & if I don't hear from her I worry. Those sisters threw me a fabulous 50th birthday lunch recently & in a couple weeks we'll be throwing a big party to celebrate several of us hitting that milestone. Heather's husband, Bruno, and I are like true siblings: we think alike sometimes, to the point that I call him my "brother from another mother" which we get a kick out of it. Our children become each other's nieces & nephews; my husband & I are "Auntie Lisa" & "Uncle Dale" to several.  


We've had several events, such as my daughter's graduation party, during which all our families - blood & chosen- got to come together. I remember looking around at everyone sitting together, having a great time, my older sister's daughter holding the youngest daughter of one of my framily. Another friend greeting my parents "Hi Mom, Dad." My husband's brother & my oldest sister helping to serve the food. I'd mentioned to my husband that it was hard to tell who was family & who were friends. He responded "I think that's the point isn't it?" I guess it is. 


I think this song reflects me & my sisters - blood & chosen. Can only chuckle & wonder which of us would be cast as which character in the show. Any ideas? 

So, tell me: what kind of family do you have? Traditional? Non traditional? Do you have your own "family"? I'd love to know. 









Monday, March 14, 2016

50 really is just a number

A week ago I turned 50. 50 years old. I never thought I'd be the one it would bug to turn a half century old. Yet it did. My mind went to the "coulda shoulda wouldas. I finally have to face that I'm getting older. 50 seemed so old. 50 was ancient. 50 was bad.




But guess what? 50 is harmless. 50 is just a number just like 49 is. Noone has ever been harmed by turning 50. Lightening bolts didn't streak out of the sky because I'm now in a new demographic check box. You know "age:50-60". My hair didn't automatically turn grey, wrinkles didn't magically appear on my face. The skin on my hands are still age-spot free & taut. The lines by my eyes have come from years of laughing in the sun without sunglasses not because of a date on the calendar.  I think I look pretty damn good for being a half century old. How old would YOU my reader, think the woman in this picture is? 


The "coulda shoulda wouldas"? That's my fault, not the fault of turning 50. It doesn't mean life ends. It means maybe forcing myself to do things that may scare me or I don't think I should do. 

Paul Simon has told us there are "50 Ways to Leave a Lover". That song wouldn't have been a hit if he called it 42 Ways to Leave Your Lover" now would it?

Cosmopolitan magazine had an article, "50 Things Every Woman Should Do Before She Dies" http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a33210/things-every-woman-should-do-before-she-dies/.  All 50 are excellent ideas, GOOD ideas.  Google "50 things" & you'll find dozens more lists just like this, of varying subject matter. 

1966 wasn't just 50 years ago & not just when I & my good friend Pete as well as many classmats from the class of 1984 were born. It was also the year Super model Cindy Crawford, Janet Jackson, Halle Berry, Salma Hayek, Patrick Dempsey & Keifer Sutherland were born (I'm in sexy & gorgeous company there). Best Buy launched in 1966 as did Doritos, Fresca & Quaker Instant Oatmeal. Who hasn't played the game Twister while wearing their Vans shoes, both which debuted 50 years ago. I still wear Vans. 



Lots of good things & people were born or created 50 short years ago. I've been told to embrace 50. "Sign up for AARP, they have great discounts", "go to the carnival guess your age booth- noone would guess you're 50, you'll win a prize", "being 50 is more liberating". I do know what benefits there are getting to this age. Such as the loss of youth: while it was fun to be young I wouldn't go back to my teens or 20's for anything. I have stories to tel that in my younger days I wouldn't have. I have a deeper appreciation for my parents now : my Dad is gone, my Mom has Alzheimer's. I'm going to enjoy & love my Mom so much more now. 

So yes I turned 50. 50 & fabulous. After all 50 is just a number. What were your thoughts when you celebrated YOUR 50th birthday?


Tuesday, March 1, 2016

This it! I have begun this new project! SO EXCITED

I have finally done it. Gotten my new blog started. My goal is a post a month or more so PLEASE follow me. Give me insight, feedback & ideas. I write as I speak & you may not like it all. My goal is not for you TO  like everything but maybe to open your eyes, have a chuckle or even choke up. My writing will all come from my heart. So come along on my rollercoaster. Lisa